I have given up dating! YAY! Don’t worry this is a happy post! I have not given up on love. I know much great love is in my future but I have stopped going on dates over the past months and wanted to tell you about it.
I LOVE BEING SINGLE! First and foremost. I was roller skating around the park today thinking how much it is so good for me during this time in my life to be single and focus on building friendships in my new city.
I simply do not need to date.
I was explaining this to a friend the other day and thought I would explain.
Dating is not for me. I have done the work on this too so I know it to be true. I have coached myself on it a lot and worked with my life coach on it and it feels so freeing to know that OMG I DON’T HAVE TO DATE!!! HAHA!
That said, I am a great date. I am super fun (duh) and I will wine and dine you and bring you flowers and hold all doors for you and communicate well blah blah blah. But I am a 43 year old divorced gay male, not a 16 year old girl, I do not need to date HAHA! It is very heteronormative to me. Also, any of the great loves of my life are not from dates.
I know many of you met your partners via dating so I am not discounting dating. Dating is awesome! Just not for me. It is like when I decided to not drink. It was a happy and easy decision. Deciding not to date is an equally happy and easy decision.
My college boyfriend saw me in a play and we fell in love instantly and spent 3.5 years together. I met my ex husband at a bar and walked over and pretty much told him he was mine and we spent the next 13 years together.
I had never really dated in my life when I became single at age 39 so I gave it a whirl. It was fun to date for the sake of dating over the past 3 years and the result didn’t matter - we could become friends or hook up or become boyfriends or never see each other again and I was fine with the process. It was a fun little adventure!!
But as I was roller skating today I was so peaceful and joyful knowing I was meant to be single during this incredible time in my life - yet knowing the moment I met my next great love, I am ready for him and have so much to offer him. And yes I will likely hand select him and just tell him it is him! HA! I am magical like that! Just felt like sharing!